A "Recipe" for Warming up to our Husbands

The “Original Slow Cooker”: That’s the rest of the name for a very valuable household item that most of us have in our kitchens: The Crock-Pot.

Have you heard the saying that women are crock pots while men are microwaves? In my experience, I’ve found that to be SO true! It takes me a lot longer to warm up and “cook” than it does my husband. It’s O.K., though. That’s the way God designed and wired us.

In my kitchen, I appreciate and value both my Crock-Pot and my microwave. Although it takes a little more time and planning to cook a meal in my Crock-Pot, it’s always worth the effort. I’ve never regretted a meal prepared this way.

The same is true in marriage. Since we women are like the “Crock-Pot – The Original Slow Cooker”, it takes a little more planning and time to produce something satisfying. But it’s always worth the effort. We’ll never regret the time invested in our love lives with our husbands.

Thankfully over the years, the Lord has taught me some strategies to keep the “Crock Pot” cooking all day, so that it is ready when the “Microwave” is turned on. Just like the options on Crock-Pot’s website, this “Slow Cooking” portion of Adding Zest will offer a few Recipes and Smart Living Tips to help us make the most of the invaluable gift we’ve been given as Slow-Cooking women loving our Microwave-style men.


Recipe for a Warm Heart

Dear sisters, I don’t know what type of man you have, or how he treats you, or how much you desire/don’t desire intimacy with him. But one thing I do know… for some reason, however many years ago, you loved him enough to give yourself to him in marriage. There are/were SOME qualities about your man that attracted you to him.

In the busy-ness of daily life, it’s easy to overlook those little things that we loved about our men, and focus on those things about him that seem to grate on our nerves. As a result, our hearts grow cold toward them, and our times of intimacy are less enjoyable than they could be.

This happened to me with my precious husband last year. All of a sudden, I was acutely aware of tiny things that I never before seemed to notice. And they were making me mad! (I could use a valid hormonal excuse here… but God gave me the remedy before He gave me the hormone replacements!)

I didn’t know why I was getting so aggravated with my husband. Neither did he… (grin). Then one day in my Quiet Time, God brought Philippians 4:8 into my focus like it was a flashing neon sign.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

God convicted me that I was thinking about my husband in all the wrong ways. Somewhere along days, weeks, months, years… I had stopped being completely grateful for him, and started obsessing on those traits that frustrated me.

After a tear-filled time of confession, the Lord led me to do a little experiment. It worked so well that I’m challenging you to do the same. It’s a recipe for a warm heart.

… And you’ll have to hop over to Adding Zest for the rest of the post.
😉  See you there… (Don’t worry – It’s nothing scary!  I promise.  For those of you who know some “personal” things about my life – This experiment has to do with the Bible…I promise! ha ha ha)

About SmellingCoffee

I'm a Jesus-loving, husband-loving, family-loving minister's wife and mom to two college kids, making our home and serving our Lord in the Mississippi Delta. I study, teach, speak, and write for the greatest Boss in the universe. "Faith, Family, Food, Fun, and Living Life brewed in the fragrance of the knowledge of Jesus Christ in every place": That's what you'll find at SmellingCoffee.com


  1. I have noticed this in my own life – when I concentrate on my husband's faults, my overall feelings toward him are negative. I am blessed with a wonderful husband and I need to be truly grateful for all that he does for our family. Thanks for the reminder!

  2. Love it!! Thanks so much for sharing your recipe!!

  3. I am just lovin it…Your post your blog ,,what a delight it is to have found you and it!!! Just awesome and to know there are wonderful women out there in blogosphere,,,WOW,, I sooo admire you ,thanks for sharing and I am PRAISIN GOD that I came across your blog… Do pop by mine if you can and add on I'd be honored!!!
    PS::: I found you at Lisa Shaws, another most awesome great lady after the heart of Christ..
    (((HUGS))) from Iowa,,,Dena

  4. Such a great post and so true! Whenever I am thinking negative things about my husband, I have to stop and focus on all the wonderful things he does do and that I certainly am not perfect either.