A new (to me) way to pray for our children and their spouses

This past week’s Sunday School lesson was on Proverbs 31 – a fitting text for Mother’s Day.  But so often this wonderful passage of scripture brings on conviction and correction for us women {often translated mom-guilt} – and since I had recently taught about Spring Cleaning of the Heart based on Proverbs 31, I felt the Lord lead me in a different approach to this familiar chapter.

For Spring Cleaning of the Heart – based on Proverbs 31, see these posts:
Part 1,  Part 2,  and  Part 3

So instead of studying through Proverbs 31 as in how we need to change as women, we studied through it as in how we could pray these truths into the lives of our sons and daughters, our sons’ wives, and our daughter’s husbands.

All other 30 chapters in the book of Proverbs is written from the perspective of a father to a son.  But not chapter 31.  It is written by the mother’s hand.  From her perspective.  And was included last in this book of wisdom… as in “the last word”… something we women often like to have!!! 😉

In chapter 31 of Proverbs, we find a mother (Bathsheba) instructing her son (Solomon) on the type of man he was to be, and the type of woman he was to seek after in a wife. Ironically, Solomon didn’t heed his mother’s advice. According to scripture, at the end of Solomon’s life he had over 700 wives and 300 concubines. Many of his marriages were political arrangements which caused a lot of problems for Solomon and the nation of Israel by bringing foreign gods into Jerusalem.  I’m just sayin’.  He should have listened to his mama!

Bathsheba loved her son and wanted the best for him. If she were a modern day woman, what would she tell him in today’s language? James asked me to help him by taking Proverbs 31 and writing it as if I were advising Nathan.  I do plan on sitting down with him and talking to him about this (next week when he is actually home… Spring Football training – big game tonight!).  And I want to share this with Abigail – because this is the kind of man God has for her as well as the kind of woman she is to become.

In looking at this passage from a 2013 view, I felt the Holy Spirit call me to use these instructions to PRAY FOR MY CHILDREN.  To pray these truths into their lives.

This is how I would speak Proverbs 31 into my son and daughter’s lives and pray it over my children in 2013.

(2) My son, if I could give you only one last set of instructions, this is what I would want you to know:

(3) Lusting and seeking after women will destroy you.

(4-7) Drinking much alcohol will also destroy you. It will keep you from acting and reacting in the wisdom we have begged God to pour into you.

(8-9) Be an advocate for the weak and defenseless. Stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. Go out of your way to see that the poor and needy are treated justly.

Be the man you have been raised to be.

(10) Pray for and search after God’s wife for you. She is more valuable than anything you can possess.

(11) You will be able to trust her, love her, and satisfy her.

(12) If you will be the man God wants you to be, and seek the woman He has created to be your helpmeet, she will be a joy and comfort to you all of your life. She will be your encourager.

(13) God’s woman for you will be a hard worker – not lazy.

(14) She will be wise in the spending of her time and money.

(15) She will be the type of wife who will rise in the morning, get her spiritual nourishment from the Lord, then will be prepared to set the tone of the day for your family and home.

(16) She will be wise in what she takes on, weighing her options and making the very most of the time given to her. Because of this, she will be fruitful in all that she does.

(17) When you and others see her, they see God given strength – spiritually, mentally, and physically. She will be one who consistently works with the Lord on areas of weakness, and in those weak places, the Lord will make her strong.

(18) God’s woman for you will be joyfully content in what it is that she does. The Light of the Holy Spirit will shine brightly through her, and she will practically glow with contentment in the Lord.

(19) She will be a willing worker – not a complaining and nagging one.

(20) She will be generous with the poor and needy – the ones for which you are to be an advocate. She will generously open her hands, heart, and home in service, along with you, to those God brings across your paths.

(21) She will be prepared, and will prepare your household for every season of life. Because God’s woman for you is clothed in and guided by the Lord, He will help her clothe and bless your family and home.

(22) She will be creative in how she uses the family’s resources. Because of this, your home and family will be covered in such a way that God’s beauty is both seen and celebrated.

(23) Son, because of the way God’s woman for you lives her life, your life will be blessed and honored. She will make you even better than you presently are.

(24) Gods woman for you will be industrious, and what she does outside of her work in the home will be something that brings joy and blessing to others.

(25) Strength and dignity will be how others describe her. She is secure in who she is in Christ, and in her partnership with you. She is not anxious and wrought up with worry over tomorrow, because her trust rests in the Lord God Almighty.

(26) When God’s woman for you opens her mouth to speak, her words will be laced with kindness, grace, and wisdom. No unwholesome thing will come out of her mouth – but only those things that encourage and build up others and contribute good to those who hear them.

(27) She will manage your home wisely and well. She won’t waste time on worthless activities, daydreams, and pursuits.

(28) With this God-given woman at your side, the children you two have will be blessed. You won’t be able to stop yourself from boasting about her and taking great pride in her.

(29) You will gratefully recognize that though there are many wonderful women in this world, the wife God has chosen for you excels them all.

(30) Son, remember these last words: A woman will deceive you with her charming personality. That’s not what counts in choosing a life long partner.

A woman’s beauty will fade as she ages. She won’t always look like she does at this moment. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What the world tells you is beautiful is often the opposite of God’s standard of beauty. And by the way, no real woman looks exactly like the photo-shopped versions you see in the media. Don’t base your selection of your wife on outward appearance alone.

But base it on this: Does she reverently worship and obey and trust the Lord? If you can’t proclaim a bold “yes” to this question, then she is not God’s best for you. If you can say a bold “yes,” then one of the blessings of trusting God to choose your wife is that to you, she will also be charming and beautiful.

(31) God’s woman for you won’t need the applause or respect of others, but because of who she is in Him and to you, many will give her praise.

What if this does not describe your son or your daughter or your son in law or daughter in law?  You can begin to pray in this way!  Pray the Scriptures for your adult loved ones.  An investment of God’s Word over your loved ones will never return void!  God WILL work… and as you pray, He will give you eyes to see how He is transforming and working through your prayers.

If you would like to print a copy of this advice from Mom to Son, you can download a printable version here. 🙂



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I'm a Jesus-loving, husband-loving, family-loving minister's wife and mom to two college kids, making our home and serving our Lord in the Mississippi Delta. I study, teach, speak, and write for the greatest Boss in the universe. "Faith, Family, Food, Fun, and Living Life brewed in the fragrance of the knowledge of Jesus Christ in every place": That's what you'll find at SmellingCoffee.com